Fatherhood

Fathers have a great influence on their children. An influence that is equal to that of the mothers. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a wonderful involved father. So I have seen the impact and father can make in a child. Here are 5 of the most important factors a father can show his child:
1) Fathers play differently
2) Fathers parent differently
3) Fathers build confidence
4) Fathers prepare children for the real world
5) Fathers provide a look at the world of men
I think it is important to have activities with just the child and father. When my dad and I would have these we would go to dinner, movies, bike rides, boating, and fishing. We did activities we both enjoyed. Sometimes my dad would even do activities I liked, like shopping, When my dad would come to the mall with me I knew he hated it, but he never complained, I really appreciated those times because I knew he just wanted to be with me.

Communication

I know it sounds kind of cliche, but communication is the keystone of marriage. Communication is used all the time. Wether it is with our eyes, body movements, expressions, or words. If you do not make eye contact with someone for hours, doesn't that make you seem like they are mad? Without communication conflict tends to come up. Conflict means disagreement and arguing. In order to avoid conflict there needs to be communication. A little conflict is okay, but not confronting it makes it worse.

Crisis in the Family

Crisis in the family causes more stress, but if you look at it positively can help make the family unit stronger. There are many types of crisis in the family: divorce, death, separation, abandonment, ect. How we deal with this situation with either strengthen our families or separate them even more. I have learned that communication is a key component is dealing with family stressors. If a husband and wife are not on the same page there can be much confusion within the entire family. I think that dealing with crisis should be a family decision, so everyone feels involved and everything is discussed.

The Birds and the Bees

This week in class we discussed intimacy during marriage. While learning more about that what I learned most was how marriage is all about scarifies and becoming selfless. Marriage is a Godly. We also discussed sex ed in schools. I never realized how important it is for your children to feel comfortable to come to their parents for questions, but it is. In another class this week we were talking about how to talk to your children about sex. He knew of one man who talk to his sons every could of years about it. When his children were 8, 12, 16, and 21 they would have a chat. I think this just needs to be a comfortable open conversation. I think those are great ages to talk to your children about it. I think that talking about what it happening in their life and the changes going on should be discussed, nothing too advance or premature. 

Here is a link about suggestions for parenting your children: 

https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide

Baby Time

In class this week we discussed the role of the husband during pregnancy. I thought of five specific things wives can do to engage their husbands fully before, during and after delivery of their child. 

I think that it is crucial to have the husband fully engaged in the pre birth and after birth life of the child. Five things a wife can help the father do to be engaged during the delivery and after are:

1)      Bring the husband to doctor’s appointments.

-I believe that the baby is as much of the mother’s child as it is the father’s.

2) Take your husband to birthing classes.

            - You should take your husband to these classes so he will feel more comfortable with the whole birthing situation. The more informed he is the more help and comfort he will be to the wife during birth.

3) Buy baby clothes/accessories together.

-Most husbands’ probably wont want to go shopping for the baby, but it could help a lot. This is a way most women get excited to have a baby. It could also help the husband get excited too.
4) Have husband stay home with you instead of the typical grandma.

-I think that the grandma sometimes takes the place of the father too often after the birth. The father should be the one home with the new mother. Not only for help of the mother, but to gain a relationship with the baby. The mother and father should learn how to take care of the newborn baby together.

5) Father should get up at night as much as the mother.

            -The father should be help during the night because the mother needs rest to recovery. During the night the father can gain a closer relationship with the baby, since he is probably at work for most of the day.

Family Dynamics

This week I completed a Genogram for my family. A Genogram is similar to a family tree, but shows the relationships between each family member. You are able to see the connections between parenting and how one persons bad parenting effects generations to come. While learning all this new information I should take it upon myself to want to change and learn from what others have done. I learned that if I ever see tension or a need for closeness with my husband and son I will address it immediately preventing any future problems. This shows me that a bond with parents cannot be broken if it was made strong enough through easy times, it will hold through tough times. I have that goal with my own children. I now will be more aware of the traits my parents have while parenting because I will most likely follow in their footsteps. With the information I have gathered I will now be more aware of how every little situation or incident can lead to conflict. It is better to deal with conflict as soon as it arises and not later down the road when it could have gotten worse. I have learned that it is possible to break a pattern of bad parenting. If I notice anything I don’t agree with I will not be afraid to change it. My eyes will now be open to the way people interact and treat the members in my family.

Know Who You Are

This week I have learned and gained a stronger testimony of gender roles in life not even just in families. I have learned that we were destined from the very beginning to be male or female. I have learned that gender roles are essential to heavenly fathers plan for us here on this Earth. I learned that men and women are equal in our roles, we just have different strengths and weaknesses that even each other out. Men and women are suppose to be different so we can learn and grow from our differences to become more like God. Men and women complete each other. Gender in a way perfects us, it is part of our identity no matter how much we may fight it. It is your chromosomes that determine whether you are a male or female, not the physical side. You were destine to be a male or female from the beginning.

Here is a great video explaining same sex attraction
http://vimeo.com/71799175

Culture Good or Bad?

This week in class we discussed culture and whether there is such thing as a bad or good culture.

I thought that all cultures have their pros and cons. All cultures are very different and unique. I believe it is very important to feel involved in a culture because it helps you feel like you belong somewhere, have importance, and know who you are. I think that all cultures are right, if their beliefs and customs are not mean and cruel, I believe that they should abide with the laws of the land. I think you should try and respect the culture you are. It can be very difficult sometime to respect it, if you don’t agree with it. In America it is “culturally” acceptable to do a lot of things that everyone else is doing, but I know it is wrong. If you live in a culture that is doing wrong things I believe it is okay to leave it and not call yourself part of it.

BYU- Idaho Learning Model

This week in class we had to compare the BYU- Idaho learning model to a family. The BYU- Idaho has three parts to it that equal a successful learning experience: prepare, teach, and ponder and prove.

Preparation is essential to family. Our church counsels us constantly to be prepared. This method can be used in family by saving enough money for children, college, retirement, and incase of an emergency.  As Latter Day Saints we are counseled to have food storage. J. Reuben Clark said, “Let every head of every household see to it that he has on hand enough food and clothing, and where possible, fuel also, for at least a year ahead.” We are told constantly to BE PREPARED!

 

Teaching one another to me is what parenting and family is all about. Parents teach their children everything. It is a parent’s duty to teach their child under the covenant. Not only do parents teach their children, but the children teach their parents so much. The whole idea of family is constant learning and teaching.  L. Tom Perry said, “ Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility.”

In the life of a family pondering and proving is used everyday. Parents hopefully are constantly pondering and praying for revelation on how to teach their children and rear them in the right direction. Parents have to act in order to receive revelation and be able to prove themselves.

We use parts of the learning model in our daily lives. If we continue to use it, it will bless the lives of our children and families.